Lifestyle Lingo

While some of you are veterans of “the lifestyle,” others haven’t been around quite as long and are just starting to pick up the lingo. Here are a few definitions to help you on your swinging adventures!

Lifestyle (also, “alternative lifestyle”): The name that swingers use to describe their culture. People can be in the lifestyle by attending events and becoming familiar with what goes on; they do not have to participate in the various sexual activities that occur. Those who do participate are said to be “active.”

Vanilla: Sexually conventional; plain, ordinary and bland as opposed to deviant or kinky; a non-swinger.

Meet and Greet: Social event, typically held in an off-premises setting, specifically held for couples and singles to get to know each other in a less-sexually-charged atmosphere. May be referred to as a “social” if sponsored by a lifestyle club or organization.

On-Premises: Swinging takes place at the club or party; certain rooms or areas may be specified for sexual play.

Off-Premises: No swinging takes place at the club or party; you meet and make your own arrangements. Great for newcomers.

Closed Door Swinging: Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house or building. Provides a maximum of privacy.

Full swap: Sex with another couple where both couples swap partners; this is often done in the same room but also applies when separate rooms are used.

Soft swap: Sex with another couple present where the couples do not swap partners, but may involve touching, kissing, and possibly oral sex.

BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, and Sadomasochism; B&D involves use of various methods to restrain someone while administering discipline, usually done by a “master” to his/her “slave.” Sadism refers to sexual pleasure derived from administering pain, while masochism is pleasure from receiving pain or humiliation.

Gang bang/ Gangbang: Typically this means sexual activity in which several men take turns penetrating a woman; it may or may not include multiple simultaneous penetration.

Orgy: Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; frequently involves the complete absence of inhibition in everyone taking part; group sex.

FMF: Female-Male-Female; group sex involving two females and a male; often involves female bisexuality.

MFMF: Male-Female-Male-Female; foursome group sex that typically involves full swapping of partners in the same room; may involve bisexual activities.

DP: Double Penetration; typically refers to simultaneous anal and vaginal penetration of a female.

DVP: Double Vaginal Penetration; typically refers to simultaneous penetration of the vagina by two males.

Voyeur: A person who is sexually excited by watching others have sex.

Exhibitionist: A person who is sexually excited by performing, especially having sex with an audience watching.

Hot wife/ Hotwife: The female half of a couple who is interested in sex with men in addition her partner; this may be one-on-one or group sex.

BBC: Big Black Cock; typically refers to well-endowed African-American males.

Unicorn: Single bisexual female interested in having sex with couples.

Bi-curious/ Bicurious: Curious and open to bisexual experience; a male or female who is interested in trying same-sex activities.

V-Safe: Refers to a male who has undergone a vasectomy procedure.

D&D Free: Drug and Disease Free: refers to those who do not use illicit drugs and who have no sexually transmitted/transmittable diseases.

NSA: No Strings Attached; refers to sexual activities that are just for fun with no further expectations.

FWB: Friends With Benefits; in the lifestyle, this often means a friendship between two couples who socialize in addition to a having a sexual relationship.

Polyamory: The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual, loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.

Hall Pass: In the lifestyle, this is permission given by your partner/spouse to have sex with others in his/her absence.